end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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