Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
