im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
