Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
