Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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