i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
whose parrot is this?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
