It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize