remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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