I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
honey bunches of taint.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
