Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize