Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize