Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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