I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
