Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
