It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
