at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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