i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
