I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
