I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
