is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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