they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
