my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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