Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
