I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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