I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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