If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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