We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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