doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
