Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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