What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
