I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
