who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
