Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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