So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
