saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
its liver damage thursday
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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