Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
