You can't motorboat a personality
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
