you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
