If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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