Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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