can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
