she looked like the before picture.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
