Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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