woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She bit a glass in half.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
