yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
