So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you win again, gameday.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
