so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
