yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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