please come you make the beer taste better
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
