this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
