Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
