guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina just clenched in fear
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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