So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
