i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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