my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
