Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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