you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
