So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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