those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is my gift to your gina
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
