I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
