oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
