All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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