Non-Jews are for practice
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
