I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
