Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
