I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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