Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
