Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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