wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you had me at cake vodka
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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