They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
