i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize