so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
