Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
